Thursday, November 6, 2008

One Step at a Time

The other day I had a strange experience that I can't stop thinking about. My co-teacher Erin and I were herding our children up the stairs towards the playground and I was helping one child (a particularly slow child) climb the stairs. As I held his hand and tried to hurry him along, he clung to the hand railing behind him while his feet moved forward. Clearly this wasn't going to work, so in attempt to explain to him why we weren't making any progress I said, "Carter, if you want to move forward, you have to let go." As soon as my ears heard my words, my heart felt them.

...If you want to move forward, you have to let go....

Can I be honest with you? I so desperately want to move forward but there is still fear in the letting go. How long have I clung on behind me while trying to move my feet forward? And how futile and exhausting my efforts! Sometimes we can only truly move forward if we are willing to let go of the past and those things that hold us back. I'm beginning to feel it now...the letting go. I see the steps in front of me and I'm slowly releasing my grip behind me. What is ahead, I surely don't know...but I'm ready for the journey. So here it is God, help me to let go but don't leave me empty handed.

Failed relationships.

I'm attempting to give it all to you, God. If I reach for it again, take my hand instead. If I look back, continue to nudge me forward. And if I get lost in my fear and anxiety, remind me there are too many things more important than my changing emotions. Here we go, and step at a time.


katie said...

ahh... this made me cry.


anng said...

Elizabeth, you are such a wise and articulate woman! I love reading your posts because you put everything out there and expose your heart. It's truly amazing!

Just this morning I was thinking about letting go of this life that I am currently living in preparation for the next year. I'm trying to figure out how to tell everyone and how to be ok with missing my daily life with my friends and family.

Thank you for your words and insight. You're amazing and I'm so glad that I am able to all someone so wonderful a friend.

Andrea said...

That happens to me too. I try to teach someone else a lesson and I end up teaching myself a one I wasn't ready to hear.

I am so excited for you and your future plans. You are an amazing person and I know I would be different without you in my life. You are a joy to have around and a motivation to do something extraordinary with my life.

Laura said...

Where did you come from!? Your dad and I are constantly amazed by your words, wisdom and heart! Thank you for being sensitive to the lessons that God is so wanting to teach and to be willing to share them so the rest of us can learn them also. You are and always will be my amazing daughter! I love you! Mom