Monday, April 21, 2008


Tonight I was supposed to meet a friend so I drove over to SPU and waited. We ended up rescheduling but while I was there, I walked through campus and felt a strange sadness I did not expect to feel. I looked up at the big windows of Moyer and thought about the time I built gingerbread houses in the "1.5" or stayed up late studying. Thoughts of my friends from freshman year and the adventures we had came to mind. I thought about sophomore year and all of the tears but also all of the laughter. A year of firsts. I thought about junior year and moving into the step closer to independence. I thought about the golf games, staying up late, walking to 711, baking eclairs, selling tulips, cramming, and watching movies.

I went up to the University Ministries office and there too, I was reminded of what has already been. I saw my Latreia coordinator notebook and flyers for SPRINT. I thought of the hours I had spent in the office or in cadre. So many memories...good and bad flooded my mind.

Life changes. Sometimes I think we don't even realize that big changes have already occurred until something stands as a reminder to what was. In many ways I feel like I've already left SPU but have forgotten to say goodbye. Student teaching keeps me away from campus and the one night that I'm there, I'm usually so ready to be home that I don't stick around to feel like a student. I don't know how I feel about things. On one hand I'm so excited for graduation. I feel like I'm in this awkward in between time. I no longer feel like a student but I'm certainly not being paid for the hard work that goes into student teaching. I think I'm ready to step forward from this. But that means saying goodbye to a huge, life changing chapter in my life. Ready or a little over a month that is exactly what I'll be doing. So I'll set my mind to enjoying this time while it lasts and thanking God for the memories and lessons that I have learned along the way.