It is strange knowing that while I am here, life continues on in the states. There have been multiple times already when I have had deep longings to be back with the people I love, in the places I know, doing familiar things. I wish I could sit in starbucks, enjoy a seasonal drink, and soak up fall. I wish I could talk to people and know they understand me. I wish I could eat a home-cooked meal. I wish I could go to the grocery store and buy whatever I like and know exactly what I'm buying. And yet...when I was home I did such things and really thought nothing of them. They held little meaning to me and rarely did I stop to thank God for them. I fear unless I am careful, I will live my entire life in such a way.
When I first returned from my time in Ukraine I felt completely alive. I appreciated the little things, as I had realized how big the little things can seem when you have to do without them. A glass of ice water. A hot shower. Time spent alone. Time with people I love. Food that you're not scared to eat... I appreciated them all. Yet, it wasn't long before my thankfulness turned into forgetfulness and discontentment. It is dangerous because it is so easy to do. I could tell you all of the things I'm thankful for now that I don't have them, but I suppose that would be missing the point. My life is different now but there are no fewer reasons to be thankful. Perhaps there are even more. So I when I struggle with feeling homesick, or wanting conviences I may lack- when I long to understand or be understood I will remind myself to be thankful. I am thankful for answered prayers and new adventures. I am thankful for roommates and relationships that are still to come. I am thankful for the beautiful new city that awaits me right outside my door. I am thankful for this brand spankin' new day.
Life feels a little newer, a little scarier, and a little closer to what, perhaps, it is supposed to be like. Thank you, God.