Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Thankful.

Tonight as I was walking to my car, I realized how quickly time passes. I cannot believe that I will be graduating in one quarter. I still remember the morning I left for college my freshman year, lying on my bed and crying-filled with sadness for what I was leaving behind and anxiety for what lie ahead. And now I am on the brink of starting a new chapter in my life and I once again feel a bit of sadness for what I am leaving behind. My four years at SPU have been anything but easy, but they have been more than transforming. I've experienced times of depression. I've hurt friends and been hurt by friends. I lost my grandpa. My mom broke her hip. I've struggled financially, academically, and physically. I've questioned my faith. I had my heart broken by the orphans of Ukraine and I am still wondering what I am supposed to do with the pieces. I said goodbye to my boyfriend and thus, my best friend. I've questioned my plans for the future. I've felt lonely and unsure. Yet in between all of the hard times, there have been times of immense joy and happiness. I have made amazing friends, laughed so hard it hurt, and felt the joy of a job well done. I've been challenged by my classes. I watched my brother get married and my friends get engaged. Through my experiences in Ukraine I've come to realize (or start to at least) how much bigger God is than I ever thought he could be. I met my SPRINT team (aka the loves of my life) and have been encouraged by their presence in my life. And as I look back I can begin to see how God has used the pain, confusion, and heartache to teach me lessons and bring me to places I never knew he would take me. I can honestly say I wouldn't trade or change my life for anything. And as I say goodbye to an incredibly meaningful place and time in my life, I am welcoming in a new one; full of pain and joy, tears and laughter, successes and disappointments. Perhaps I'm in a bit of a sentimental mood tonight but the more I reflect on all I've been through and all there is to come, I can only think of one word to describe how I'm feeling.

Thankful.

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